What the heck is detachment? Ten ways to detach from an Enmeshed Relationship

 

What the heck is detachment? 

Ten ways to detach from an Enmeshed Relationship

Enmeshment is a term that describes a type of relationship where the boundaries between individuals are blurred, and the needs and wants of one person are prioritized above the needs and want of the other person. Enmeshment can manifest in various ways, from emotional dependence and fusion to physical and psychological control. Enmeshed relationships can include family, romantic, and platonic relationships. These relationships are characterized by a lack of individuality and autonomy and can lead to feelings of suffocation, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.

 Enmeshment can also play a significant role in betrayal trauma, as individuals in enmeshed relationships often have difficulty distinguishing between their own emotions and needs and those of the other person making it harder for someone to recognize and address a betrayal, as they may not fully understand or acknowledge their feelings about the situation. Furthermore, the blurred boundaries of an enmeshed relationship can make it harder for the person who has been betrayed to detach and heal from the trauma, as they may be unable to separate their feelings and identity from the relationship. Therefore, it is crucial for individuals who have experienced betrayal trauma in an enmeshed relationship to work on developing a sense of self, setting boundaries, and seeking support to process and recover from the trauma. 

Detachment, in the context of betrayal trauma, refers to separating oneself emotionally and psychologically from the person or situation that caused the betrayal. Detaching can involve setting boundaries, creating physical distance, and focusing on self-care and self-compassion. Detachment is an essential step in the healing process after betrayal. After all, it allows the individual to regain control and agency over their emotions and thoughts. It also allows the person to focus on their own needs and well-being rather than remaining invested in the relationship or situation that caused the betrayal. Detachment can also help individuals gain a healthier perspective on the situation and move on from the trauma in a healthy and empowering way.

But how do we detach when we don't know where our partner starts and where you began? Here are ten ways to practice detachment.

• Setting boundaries: Communicate your needs and wants and establish limits for what you will and will not tolerate in the relationship.
• Developing a sense of self: Spend time on your interests and hobbies, and focus on building your identity outside the relationship.
• Practicing assertiveness: Speak up for yourself and express your feelings and opinions directly and honestly.
• Creating physical distance: Take a break from the relationship by spending time apart through an in-home or out-of-home therapeutic separation agreement. You can also choose to end the relationship entirely.
• Building a support system: Surround yourself with friends and family who can support you and provide a healthy perspective on the relationship.
• Seeking therapy: Work with a coach, therapist, or counselor to gain insight into the dynamics of the enmeshed relationship and to develop strategies for detachment.
• Learning to say "no": Learn to set limits and say "no" to unreasonable demands or expectations from the other person.
• Building emotional independence: Learn to rely on your emotional resources and manage your emotions without depending on the other person.
• Letting go of expectations: Stop expecting the other person to fulfill your emotional needs and learn to find fulfillment and happiness within yourself.
• Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion: Cultivate awareness and self-compassion, and learn to recognize and accept your feelings and needs.