How Brainspotting can Help You During and After Betrayal

How Brainspotting Can Help You Heal During and After Betrayal

When someone you trust betrays you, it can feel like your entire world has been turned upside down. I know this because I’ve been there. After my own experience with betrayal, I found myself stuck in a cycle of anxiety, depression, and overwhelming thoughts that I couldn’t escape. It felt impossible to trust again—myself, others, even the world around me.

This emotional rollercoaster is known as betrayal trauma, and it’s not just “in your head.” It’s a deep wound that can take months, even years, to heal. But here’s the good news: healing is possible. One of the tools that helped me reclaim my peace was brainspotting, an incredible technique designed to help people process and overcome trauma.

What Does Betrayal Do to Your Brain?

Trust isn’t built overnight. It takes time, shared experiences, and vulnerability. When we finally let our guard down, we believe we’re safe. But when someone betrays us, that safety shatters—and it’s devastating.

In those moments, your brain reacts as if your very survival is at stake. The betrayal triggers your fight-or-flight response, flooding your body with panic: a racing heart, shortness of breath, and that terrible sinking feeling in your stomach. And here’s the tricky part—these feelings can resurface at the smallest trigger, even something as simple as hearing a familiar phrase or seeing an object tied to the betrayal.

I remember how even mundane things—like certain songs or places—would send me spiraling. I felt trapped in my trauma until I learned about brainspotting.

What Is Brainspotting?

Our brains are incredible, complex machines. They’re always working to process emotions, memories, and sensations, even when we’re not aware of it. Brainspotting taps into this hidden processing power by targeting the subcortical part of the brain—where emotions and trauma live.

Using eye movements and visual focus, brainspotting helps your brain unlock those deep, unresolved emotions that keep you stuck in pain. The technique was developed by trauma therapy expert Dr. David Grand, and it’s been a game-changer for people dealing with betrayal trauma (myself included).

How Brainspotting Helped Me

When I tried brainspotting for the first time, I wasn’t sure what to expect. My therapist asked me to focus on where I felt the pain in my body—my chest felt tight, and my stomach was in knots. Then, she guided my eyes to specific positions while helping me process those feelings.

At first, it felt strange, but then something shifted. The emotions I’d been holding onto—anger, sadness, fear—started to surface in a way that felt manageable. Instead of being consumed by them, I could finally start to make sense of them.

Over time, brainspotting helped me recognize my triggers and how they affected my body and mind. It gave me the tools to face my pain and work through it rather than avoiding it.

How Does Brainspotting Work?

A typical brainspotting session goes something like this:

1. You and your therapist identify the issue you want to work on.
2. You pinpoint where you feel the emotional pain in your body.
3. Your therapist helps you focus your eyes on specific positions that correspond to those feelings.
4. Together, you process the sensations, emotions, and memories that arise.

This process taps into your brain’s natural ability to heal itself, creating a sense of release and relief.

Why Brainspotting Stands Out

Unlike other trauma therapies like EMDR or hypnosis, brainspotting feels deeply personal and intuitive. It doesn’t just focus on reducing symptoms; it helps you confront and resolve the root cause of your trauma.

For me, brainspotting wasn’t just about feeling better—it was about truly healing. It helped me rebuild my trust in myself and others, something I thought I’d never be able to do again.

What Can You Expect After Brainspotting?

Many people report these benefits after brainspotting:

• A better understanding of their emotional triggers.
• Awareness of how trauma affects their body.
• A sense of freedom from the intense emotions tied to the betrayal.

Personally, I noticed a huge shift in how I approached relationships and challenges in my life. I no longer felt defined by the betrayal or stuck in a cycle of pain.

Is Brainspotting Right for You?

Not every therapy works for everyone, and that’s okay. If brainspotting doesn’t resonate with you, it doesn’t mean you’re out of options. Healing is a journey, and sometimes it takes time to find the right path.

But if you’re feeling stuck after betrayal, I encourage you to consider brainspotting. It’s not a quick fix, but it’s a powerful tool that can help you regain control of your life. You deserve to feel whole again.

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